Working Mother's Dilemma

Working mothers have always a guilty feeling for leaving their children behind. A woman who wants to work after her motherhood is in a dilemma whether to work or be a stay at home mum. Read on to know the dilemma of a working mother.


Working Mother's Dilemma

Gender equality

I am a bit of a feminist, have always been. My friends at college used to tease me that if I ever had a baby boy, I would send him shopping for vegetables when he's still in the pram!!!

Jokes apart, I do feel strongly about treating sons and daughters equally, giving them equal opportunities for growth and development, training them both in domestic chores and making them self-sufficient. The freedom of choice is all-important to me, though I do realise that  'choice' in the adult world is a very complicated issue, affecting all those whom you love and care for. My only grouse is that it just gets that much more complicated if you are a girl.

And no, I did not have a boy. I have a beautiful baby girl who I absolutely dote on. Every parent knows how labour-intensive it is to take care of infants and yet every baby makes it worthwhile with her innocent smiles, inimitable babble and all the mischief she gets into (otherwise none of us would have siblings!). 

To work or not to work

Well, the issue I have been pondering over is about going to work leaving your 'precious'  in  another  person's  care. I am a doctor by profession though I am at present staying at  home  taking  care  of my  little  one. But I will soon be returning to work and would  then have  to  trust  my  little princess  with  a caretaker. Every mother knows how  hard  it  is  to  do  just that  and  I  too am dreading  the  day  I'll have  to  drop  my  baby  girl  at  the  nursery.

Though people say that you get used to it and that children settle down, etc., I wonder if   any  mother  is  REALLY  ever  free  of  the guilt. Research does say that children,  whose  mothers  started  working after  they  were 1year old , show  greater  problem-solving  ability. I also believe in the concept of  'quality time' which is any day better than  nagging  or  fussing  over  children  or  just letting  them  be (on their  own) ! I do not  mean  this  as  a  generalisation  for all  'stay  at home  mums ( SAHMs). I have the  greatest  respect  for  them and am  fully  aware  that  cooking, cleaning  and  keeping  house  is  an  endless and thankless  job. It's just that some individuals do not cope really  well  with staying  at  home  all  day. They need the stimulation and distraction that  work brings,  otherwise  the  frustration  gets  the  better of  them. And I belong to this  category. 

The decision

That brings me back to my dilemma. In fact, I am surprised that I am feeling so diffident  at  all for  two  reasons. First, I obviously do not want to be a SAHM and second, my  mum  has  always been  a  working woman. I have always felt secure that my brother  and  I  were the  focus  of  my  parents'  lives. My mother has boundless energy and there  is no  way  she  could  have  been  a SAHM. I am inordinately proud of her achievements.    
  
So I guess I too will cope in my own way, in my own time and make a successful   combination  of  home  and  career. And I'll always keep in mind the most powerful words on motherhood that I have ever come across which say that  "a mother is a person  not  to  lean on, but  one  who  makes  leaning unnecessary". So if we are able to achieve  this  we  would  have  done  our duties  well , irrespective  of  how many  hours  we  spent  sitting next  to  the little  ones.