Parenting Gays

Understand that by distancing yourself from your gay child, you are hurting both yourself and your child, deeply. 

One of the hardest things for many parents to accept is that their child is gay. 


Parenting Gays

This news often comes as a great shock to parents, and they find it hard to cope with the situation. They see their dreams of getting their children married with their own families, and becoming grandparents, shattered. Parents often go into depression when they learn that they have a gay child, and some parents go so far as to cut off ties or to distance themselves from their child. 

In the Western societies gays have managed to gain far more acceptance than they have in India, although we are getting there. 

Understand that by distancing yourself from your gay child, you are hurting both yourself and your child, deeply. 

Why is there still a stigma attached to being gay in India? As a parent, wouldn't you rather your child be gay than be a criminal or a murderer? Being gay is not a crime, as it is a person's own private business. He isn't hurting anyone by being gay, so why should anyone object? 

Understand that your gay child may meet with a lot of ridicule both while growing up, and when he is an adult. If you as a parent turn your back on him, you will only be pushing him further away from you and from mainstream society. 

Rahul's brother Ravi was gay, and after graduating from college in Delhi, he left for the United States for further studies, and settled down there. However, Rahul's friends never let him forget the fact that his brother was gay and every now and again Rahul would have to hear cracks about his brother, and about how Rahul too must be gay. Similarly, Rahul's father had to endure numerous barbs from people, and his manhood was called into question with regard to the fact that he gave birth to a gay child. 

Comments like these are shocking, needlessly cruel and only go to reflect the crude and narrow attitudes of the persons passing such comments. Teach your child to never grow up to be someone who needlessly pokes fun of others, especially when such fun borders on cruelty. 

Society can be cruel. If you as a parent show that you are ashamed of your gay child, people will pick up on it and make you feel worse. But if you show pride in your child's achievements and in his happiness, if you never feel the need to get defensive and if you don't try to shy away from the topic, people will soon realize that they will not be able to put you down. 

A gay person in India will probably not get married, and may not ever enjoy the security of a family. If his parents too ostracize him, the only place he will find solace in is the gay community. However, if his parents accept his decision and support and stand by him, he will find his strength from them. 

Gays have found acceptance and a great degree of respect in the fashion industry in India. They have done exceedingly well for themselves, and have achieved fame and popularity along with tremendous success. However, gays in India still do not find it easy to fit into the corporate world and may feel a need to hide their preferences from their colleagues. Even if your child is not gay, as a parent, teach him not to look down upon someone just because of their personal sexual preferences.