Monitoring Child Activities and Friendships

Monitoring child’s activities and friendships help parents to ensure that the child does not get involved in any undesirable circumstances. What is the best way to monitor child’s activities? Read on to find tips for keeping track of the child’s activities and friendships.


Monitoring Child Activities and Friendships

Monitoring a child’s friendships and activities is a tricky affair. You might have a lot people around you and umpteen guides to suggest on the best ways of parenting. However, there is no “right” way of perfect parenting. It is the intent with which you behave and react to your kid’s behaviour and activities is what matters. First let us state in brief the reasons why you should at all monitor your child’s friendships and activities:

Monitoring Child’s Activities

Have a quick look at the tips for monitoring child’s activities.

Need for Monitoring Child’s Activities -  It is your parental duty to ensure the security and safety of your child from all sides. By monitoring, you show your affection and also listen to your child. Monitoring ensures all the important provision of order and consistency in regular activities of the kid. It also helps you to judge on how to set and enforce limitations, or whether they are at all required. You can spend quality time with your kids and thus understand their needs and desires better through monitoring.

How to Monitor Child’s Activities? - The best way to monitor your kid’s activities is to set a routine. And you ought to do it for all the members of the family. You need to treat it as a serious matter right from the beginning and ensure that the kid is made to be a part of the procedure as well. Every member of the family will have a certain work that is required of them at a certain hour of the day. This will also include leisure activities like meeting friends and going out.

Why Sharing the Day is Important? - Make it a family custom where each member is present at a designated hour, say the teatime or dinner time or just before going to bed, where there is a get together and each member shares with the other family members how he or she has spent the entire day. This is not only an excellent bonding exercise but also a way for you to get a hang of what the kid is doing when you are not present with him.

Do Not be Intrusive - If you find that there is something that the kid is not keen on sharing with you or wants to hide something, do not go on insisting that he must come up with it. Give him some time, he might be considering to share it with you. In the meanwhile, do your bit in trying to find out the reason behind his hiding the matter or whatever it is. But make sure that you are doing it maturely, and not by overtly prying on the child. That will make him more aggressive and withdrawn.

Do Not Charge When You Get to Know a Secret - If you get to know something that the kid has been hiding from you, do not charge the kid with it and show your prowess. It will have a very negative effect. Rather initiate a conversation after you understand yourself on the possible reason why the child had hidden the fact in the first place. Be casual, assuring and sympathetic in your approach.

Monitoring Child’s Friends

Here are some tips on monitoring child’s friendships.

Reduce or Avoid Communication Gaps - Always keep the lines of communication open when you are monitoring the kid’s friends. Ensure that the child is comfortable in communicating with you. That way you will know the desires of the kid and things that make him happy. Be a patient listener, give attention to what he is saying and become his friend so that he feels good in sharing his thoughts with you.

Be Friendly with Child’s Friends - Meet his friends and try to bond with them too. 
Parents always have this intuition on which friends are ‘good’ and which are ‘bad’. So if you feel that the kid should not be friends with a certain boy or girl, do not pass on strictures on it. Neither should you show displeasure at the said friend. Remember, you need to be casual as well.

Dealing with Undesirable Friendships - Friendships in childhood are not permanent and you must know that this will pass on too. So give it time as your unusual focus on a certain friend implying that he or she is bad, will aggravate your child all the more. So insist that the kid can spend time with him by inviting the said friend to your house so that they are both under your presence. 

The other way is to engage your child in daily activities in an intelligent manner, that he automatically lacks time for such undesirable friendships.

Finally, monitoring your child’s friendships and activities helps the parents realise that they have the all important accountability of leading by example. Needless to reiterate that kids learn through observation and parents are the first and perhaps the strongest role models that the kids love to follow and emulate. So they will constantly notice whether you too are following the guidelines that you have so strictly set for the kids. Or, are you maintaining separate standards.

If they find a discord, they will develop the urge to break rules and escape the monitoring on the sly. And if they feel that it is a part of discipline that applies equally for all, they will make a conscious effort to follow them. Remember, kids are as much a willing conformist as they are all eager to break the rules! So, lead by example, you objective in monitoring will become more effective.